London Hotels

London Calling
Londoners love it. Overseas tourists can’t get enough of it. But a lot of other people in the country shudder at the thought of visiting the capital. ‘It’s too big, too dirty, too noisy, too dangerous, too crowded, too fast-paced, too famous, too expensive.’ ... Read more »
Yes, London is all of those things. But that’s actually part of its appeal. The only way to enjoy London is to accept its bad points and revel in its good ones. And once you do, you’re in for the time of your life. So there’s no point resenting the fact that London gets all the attention or puts itself across as the only sporting, artistic and cultural hub in the country. Instead, feel slightly smug that it also gets most of the traffic jams and pollution – and take a short-term visitor’s gain from Londoners long-term stuck-with-it gain.
From the might of Westminster to the seediness of Soho, from the opulence of Mayfair to the overbearing self-confidence of the businesspeople clogging up all the great pubs in the City, there’s so much to see and do. Like taking in a show in the West End or head to Kensington and Knightsbridge for all the museums and galleries – many of which are still, fantastically, free.
While we might scoff at London’s pretentiousness in the privacy of our own towns and villages, there’s an understanding that, like a family member, should anyone from outside the UK join in the mocking, we’ll cut them down quick smart by rattling off a thousand reasons why it’s the cultural centre of the western world.
LONDON’S TOP 10
10. Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre Take a tour or watch a genuine play at this genuine Shakespearean reconstruction. |
5. Big Ben Recently polled as London’s most popular film location, you hear its dulcet tones on the news every night, so why not see the big boy in person. (Actually, you can only see the clock tower, but you know what we mean…) |
9. Natural History Museum You don’t have to be a natural science nerd to appreciate a towering, open-jawed T-Rex. The Blue Whale hanging from the roof is looking a bit shabby these days, but boy is it big! |
4. The London Eye Undeniably touristy, overpriced and with the longest queue in town. But, but, BUT it’s still worth getting up there (if only to remember all the problems they had getting it up – add your own Carry On joke here…) |
8. Westminster Abbey Apparently there was some wedding there recently. Did you happen to hear anything about it? |
3. The British Museum Brilliant building in Russell Square, wonderful collection from pre-history to Britain’s time as the pre-eminent world power. The Rosetta Stone is here, and so much more. Great interactive activities for the kids, too. |
7. Trafalgar Square Nelson on his column casts a one-eyed view over London. It’s big, it’s grand, it’s the finishing point for demonstrations. |
2. Buckingham Palace Try as you might to attract the attention of the guards outside Betty Windsor’s home and get them to break character, if the Swedish girl lifting her top next to you didn’t succeed, you’ve got Buckley’s. |
6. National Gallery Jaw-dropping artistic treasures lines the walls. One of the world’s great collections and it belongs to everyone in the country, so go see what’s yours! |
1. The Tower of London From armoury to treasury to menagerie to public records office to the home of a really shiny hat… |
LONDON LOCAL
While Soho used to have a dangerous edge due to its notoriety as a red-light district, it has become increasingly gentrified over the years. So much so, in fact, that its dangerous edge now comes from the children of said gentry, trying desperately to get back to gangsta roots they never had, standing threateningly on corners and looking for mischief. While it was far safer and more entertaining when the hookers and pimps ran this end of town, there’s still a fair bit to see and do.
Soho’s bars and clubs, like Chinawhite and Café Boheme are magnets for celebrities from lists A-Z. Even during the day, Soho’s Chinatown and its gay village on Old Compton Street are both full of a vibrant buzz.
Tourists from every corner of the world flock to this London icon, situated in the heart of the West End, with the theatre-packed Shaftesbury Avenue running off it. Scoff as you may at the gaudy signage and dazed-looking backpackers, there is something about its buzz and vibrancy that sweeps you up in its charm.
Central to everything, including Covent Garden and the high-end shops on Regent Street, Piccadilly Circus is a good meeting spot… except that thousands of others think so, too.
There aren’t many other areas in London – or in the whole country, for that matter – that have a style so closely associated with its location. From music to fashion to culture, there’s a distinct Camden ‘flavour’ to everything within the village limits, usually marked by pink or blue hair.
Camden is a thriving, buzzing hub of alternative culture, and the perfect place to peruse markets and music venues, including The Roundhouse Theatre and an indoor market inside the Electric Ballroom. The Devonshire Arms (known locally as The Hobgoblin) is the perfect liquid antidote to London’s many touristy pubs.
Remember Cool Britannia in the 1990s? Chelsea does. More than just a New Labour marketing slogan, it was also when King’s Road climbed to the heights of elegance it hadn’t hit since the Swinging Sixties. The district has moved on since then, but the boutiques and designer stores (not to mention the antique shops) remain. So, too, do an irritating number of ‘Sloane Rangers’ who still give Londoners a bad name, but you can’t have everything.
Actually, in Chelsea, you pretty much can have everything – assuming you’re prepared to pay for it…
Celebs love Notting Hill and can often be seen ‘casually’ browsing Portobello Road Market. If fighting Gwen, Chris and Apple for stall wares isn’t your thing, Notting Hill provides other retail-tastic options. Westbourne Grove is where established fashion designers share real estate with up-and-coming creative types.
LONDON EAT & DRINK
Club Gascon We have a love-hate relationship with the French, but they can certainly cook. Clerkenwell |
The Gordon Ramsay OK, he comes across as a tosser on telly, but the food here is remarkably refined. Holloway |
Archipelago Ever tried chocolate-coated scorpion? This is your chance… West End |
The Dorchester Afternoon tea as it was meant to be served – in large amounts and in opulent surroundings. Mayfair |
Hakkasan Athentic Chinese food, done really, really well. How else could they be able to afford premises on the most-expensive Monopoly property? Mayfair |
Fifteen Jamie Oliver may have failed to revolutionise school dinners, but this place is a real winner. Best thing is the size of the portions – big! Islington |
7. Sketch Gallery Seriously stylish décor goes with seriously delicious food and some seriously famous clientele to create a seriously memorable (and rather expensive) dining experience. Mayfair |
J Sheekey Superior seafood, fine art, and sometimes Angelina Jolie. What more could you ask for? Covent Garden |
St John An culinary icon in the heart of London. Stockbrokers and the like love it. Which, on reflection, may actually be a reason for avoiding it. City |
The Wolseley The opulent Wolseley is a mix of celebrities getting their 10am champagne fix and food critics desperately seeking something to criticise. Piccadilly |
LONDON EVENTS
With more than half a million spectators, London’s New Year’s Day Parade is the biggest event of its kind in the world. Now if that doesn’t make your heart swell with national pride, nothing will!
The Oxford and Cambridge Boat Race in late March attracts a massive crowd to the River Thames. Hugh Laurie rowed it in it once, before he abandoned us and went to America.
Contrary to popular opinion, May’s Chelsea Flower Show not just for octogenarians. It’s actually very pretty and… well, it is really an oldie sort of thing to do.
If you like a bit of pomp and circumstance, Trooping the Colour in June takes some beating. Unless you’re an intrusive paparazzo, it’s probably your best chance of catching Will and Kate (and hopefully Pippa!) in the flesh.
Whether or not you’re a fan of Tom Jones, the English Heritage Picnic Concerts are a good way to make the most of the summer months.
August’s Notting Hill Carnival is the second largest street festival in the world – one of the many boons of London’s diverse culture. It’s crowded but fun and as everyone is determined to have a good time, remarkably trouble-free.
Arguably the most popular classical music concert in the world, the Last Night of the Proms in September was so popular in 2010 they did it twice!
Unlike other European film festivals, October’s London Film Festival is not just for celebrities and film industry insiders.
The second Saturday in November is when the Lord Mayor swears his allegiance to the Crown at the Lord Mayor’s Show. The BBC used to televise this, before they realised there was actually more to the country than London – no matter how fabulous it is.
WHEN TO GO
Like the rest of the country, London can shut down if it even looks like snowing. Apart from that, any time is a good time to visit, providing you dress appropriately.
WHAT TO MISS
· The London Trocadero is the epitome of gaudy and crowded Piccadilly Circus – and not in a good way.
· Public phones. Iconic, yes, but your mobile is sure to have less bacteria on the mouthpiece…
· While Oxford Street is a must-see, save your shopping for less touristy areas to get better prices and more original pieces.
GETTING THERE AND AROUND
Stop press: You don’t HAVE to drive to London. In fact, it’s probably best if you don’t. The stats tell us that the Congestion Charge has reduced some of the traffic, but you probably wouldn’t notice it.
You could fly to London, but as both Heathrow and Gatwick are a bit out of it (in distance rather than anything else) and no-one knows anyone who has actually used London City Airport, rail is probably your best bet. Apart from anything else, London’s train stations (particularly like Waterloo and St Pancras) are architectural works of art.
· Once there, the Tube is generally the quickest and most reliable way to get around. But it can get stifling to the point of thinking you’re going to faint in summer, and avoid it at peak commuting times (8am to 9.30am, 4.30pm to 6pm) – unless you want to discover why Londoners moan about it.
· If you have some time to spare, the top level of a double-decker bus is more exciting way to get where you’re going. Get an Oyster Card (available from tube stations and newsagents) for travel across all London’s public networks.
· The distance between tube stations can be misleading. In the thick of it, walking is the best way to get around. Or hail a black cab, give them the obscurest street you can think of in the whole damn town and sit back in amazement as they take you there without once having to consult the A-Z.
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